Don’t ask Why ME?? Say TRY ME!

Life is a big irony…..my experience says so….it is always on the lookout for opportunities to contradict itself-in many ways than one.! and it manages to do that somehow almost 11 out of 10 times  WE all get to face situations and circumstances each weird in their own way and almost unique to everyone.

As an individual, the first thought that comes to your mind is Why am i in this situation? rather why only me in this situation …and believe me i am no EXCEPTION. The irony of life is that even after taking necessary precautions covering all areas of a situation, it still throws up something weird and unexpected and thats when this feeling of Why me creeps in….Something echoing in your mind right or are you empathizing with me here ??

To further strengthen my point on how ironical life is, we may face the same situation more than once but with different and varied problems. What supposedly was the solution the last time you were in that situation might be the biggest bottleneck this time

My take on this point changed though only after going thru some good some bad and some ugly experiences in life. I came across a wonderful quote somewhere which quoted ” Dont ask LIFE WHY ME, tell LIFE TRY ME!!” which had quite a deep impact on me.

I was pondering over the significance of it and believe me if you give it a deep thought , you will realise this simple line has the potential to change you and your thinking in a way which will have a positive impact on you.

Following is the outcome of my experiences and which i have tried to adapt in my day to day life to come up to situations better.

• Basic nature of a human being is to REACT to situations mostly in a negative manner- this is reflected by the change in behavior of the person and mostly thru ANGER. Its very difficult NOT to react to situations where in you are in a tight corner. But probably NOT reacting solves 60% of the situation.
• To completely NOT react to a situation is quite idealistic and the first thought that comes to your mind is of all people in this world, y only me in this situation? Following could be the reasons for it :

                               - For your good          

                               – For you to change for the better

                               – You being in this situation might benefit someone else and you find a solution will be useful for someone.

 Lot of other factors also available but by now i think people reading have started realising them

•  Analyze the situation in all possible ways -question yourself as to how best you can come out of that situation.
• Impact of the solution is also to be  analyzed so that it doesnt hurt anybody on the way to a resolution. This is probably one of the most important points that we forget in our hurry to find a resolution to the problem and which will lead to another situation to contend with !
• Have alternate solutions for everything- If not this, then i shall have this  option in hand with me.
• Be optimistic- Probably you are losing out on something while resolving the matter , but something good will definetly come out @ the end of it all.

Finally i would like to say , that situations are something which can be avoided in life be it your personal life or professional life, be it friends or family or your colleague.Most people end up creating situations and then try resolving them whcih is the root cause for most misunderstandings.

In situations which are unavoidable in life, we should stay calm and take it up as a challenge and say NOT WHY ME but say COME ON TRY ME!!!!!

Main Zindagi ka Saath Nibhata Chala Gaya

Songs are a part of everyone’s life.Most of us like to sing along to the various melodies that are on offer. But some songs create a lasting impression in your life,some which you relate to your life.

For me it is the song which is from the Dev Anand Starrer HUM DONO. This really shows in a melodious way as to how we should live our lives.

Below I present the lyrics(as it is) and the translation follows!!!

Main Zindagii Kaa Saath Nibhaataa Chalaa Gayaa
Har Fikr Ko Dhunen Mein Udaataa Chalaa GayaaBarabaadiyon Kaa Sog Manaanaa Fizuul Thaa 
Barabaadiyon Kaa Jashn Manaataa Chalaa Gayaa
Main Zindagii…Jo Mil Gayaa Usii Ko Muqaddar Samajh Liyaa \- 2
Jo Kho Gayaa Main Usako Bhulaataa Chalaa Gayaa
Main Zindagii…

Gam Aur Khushii Mein Fark Na Mahasuus Ho Jahaa.N \- 2
Main Dil Ko Us Muqaam Pe Laataa Chalaa Gayaa
Main Zindagii…

The song begins as –I go along with this life ,i blow all away all my worries in thin air!!

The second stanza says, there is no point in crying over split milk in things whihc have gone wrong for u. So better to celebrate your mistakes in life than crib over them!!

The third stanza suggests what life has given me I consider it as my fate…….. the things which i have lost.. i forget them!!!

The fourth stanza is the most unique and wonderful stanza according to me…. it says…….i take my heart to a point where i dont feel the difference between happiness and a sad feeling in life…To me this conveys the whole meaning of life….!!!!!!!! Dont know what you feel about it!!!!!!!!

Of Relationships in LIFE

Relationships as per the English dictionary is defined as ” state of connectedness between people (especially an emotional connection)”. Basically it is something which every person has in his/her life and which in many cases is valued by most of us.You meet people on the course of this journey called life where some kind of an emotional bonding,some kind of a relation forms between them.

 There are some default relationships in life which almost everyone has-Parents-Son/Daughter,Brother-Sister,Husband-Wife.One unique relationship that people have is of having friends in life.Friends are someone who accept ur flaws more than your qualities,your negatives more than your positives and they are the ones who don’t try to change the original “U”.

Some people have relations which  don’t have names but still the feeling of a relation exists. These relations are treasured & cherished by most of them. To understand what exactly it is to have a relationship which you can’t name,well for that you need to actually have one such relationship!!! One thing what i feel about these relationships is that they end up being mostly one-sided and where finally it doesn’t matter to one person in that whole situation!!!

 I would like to present an analogy for relationships in life.Relationships according to me are just like sand in your fists( palms). The more you try to grasp at them,the more you try to catch it the more it slips out of your hand!! So next time whenever you feel that you are trying to do that leave your palms open…….. then you will feel the difference !!

Relationships are like mirrors in life………once broken you cannot rejoin it!! yeah maybe you can but you will always feel those cracks .You get the feeling that your bonding,your feelings for that person are leaking thru those cracks.It never remains the way it was!!

To end this, all i would like to say is that relations in life have to be treasured and mind you it is not enough to just treasure them, you have to assure the person that you have a relationship with, that you value them and the bond that is shared!!!!!!!

All about AUTOBIOGRAPHIES.

Autobiographies….are books   describing lives of people…but in their own words and in their own unique way…… Another term for them would be a memoir…..It was by accident that I came across one autobiography and then got hooked to them …

Some people consider writing an autobiography as an act of cowardice whereas i feel it is infact the exact opposite…. it takes a lot of audacity and courage to actually write about yourself,about the events that have happened ,how they have influenced you,et al…

To write about a place,some event which affects millions around you,some sport , a recipe is comparatively simpler….Being a critic about a particular person,place or thing is even more easy…..but being your own critic is probably one of the most difficult things if not the most difficult thing……..Harping about your success is very easy but highlighting your flaws is not … i guess that signifies human nature…..!!!

Reading autobiographies of eminent people who have been successful shows one thing - their lives is/are definelty not a bed a roses.. as one assumes.

I have read quite a no. of autobiographies……herez a list of them..

 1)  Sacred Hoops-Phil Jackson

 2) It’s not about the bike-Lance Armstrong.

 3) My Life- Bill Clinton.

 4) Out of my Comfort Zone-Steve Waugh( which inspired me to write my first blog).

 5) Living History-Hillary Clinton.

 Let me present to you my findings and learning from these wonderful books………

Phil Jackson( for those who dont know about him) was the coach for the very famous and successful NBA team of the 90’s -CHICAGO BULLS . He shows thru his aptly titled autobiography the success that came to them was not easy…..It was a star struck team with the likes of Michael Jordan,Scotty Pipen and Denis Rodman to name a few… one being the superstar, one having the flair and one of the ecletic kind…..all the right ingredients for a successful team but sadly they never put all this for a team cause…How he influenced them and the techinques used by him to gel them as a successful team in the 90’s is what is described in Sacred Hoops…

About Lance Armstrong well we don’t need any words to describe him or his autobiography.A seven time Tour de France champion( Cycling’s most prestigious event), shows thru his autobiography that even in the most critical and most terrible phase of your life you shudn’t lose H-O-P-E!!! He was suffering from leukemia, underwent chemotherapy,lost all his stamina because of his illness… but the hunger to achieve something was not lost…. he wanted to be a cycling champion!!!! …..This book shows the way he bounced back from adversity and went on to become a seven time Tour de France champion…. a must read for someone who wants to go for an autobiography…..

Bill Clinton was a two time US president in the 90’s but he got famous for all the wrong reasons !!!!!!!!! Probably the biggest thing to be admired in My Life is that he has showcased all the negative happenings of his life( including the Monica Lewinsky trial and his impeachment) in the same way as his successes( Becoming president of the US is the biggest one of them all).

Steve Waugh… probably a once -in- a -lifetime cricketer and one of my fav sportsperson’s autobiography is titled “Out of my comfort zone”. This has to be one of the most unique autobiographies because he was never a batsman who came in the category of the talented and the charismatic lot of cricketers…….but then having certain natural traits is not enough……you shud know how to use them…….He probably had the most important thing of them all… the willpower and the feeling to win every single time he was out on the field….. He started off at a time when the australian team was down in the dumps and for the better part of his career he was playing for a struggling team… He has got more failures than successes to highlight… and that is what shows the true character of that man in his autobiography…. he has shown all his failures as if they are part of his success….. This book is an epitome of the famous proverb ” Failures are stepping stones to success”.

Hillary Clinton is the wife of of the former US president Bill Clinton and currently a senator in the US assembly.  A very high profile lawyer, she has portrayed her journey of life in her book titled ” Living History”.The title relates to staying in the white house …..and she had the privilege to be there for 10yrs……The journey of starting of from being a high profile lawyer to becoming the first lady in the US to the scandals her husband was involved in an finally to become a senator of the US assembly is essayed beautifully by her in this wonderful memoir…..

Finally i feel writing down about yourself ( be it in any form) helps you to understand yourself much better because the stranger in your life is not a person whom u meet at a railway platform or a traffic signal … it is you and your inner self who is the biggest stranger..!!!It helps you to  learn about the faults and flaws and you end up becoming a far better person than before.Try giving a shot at understanding yourself and better still making a note of it….it might probabaly lead you to knowing  a new thing  every single day of your life..!!!

21,Brigade Square,Cambridge Road,Ulsoor.

There are some things in life which happen to you by chance and you end up cherishing them for the rest of your life.For some people it is a thing, for some a person…….but for me it is  the address that i have mentioned in the title…………. 

21,Brigade Square,Cambridge Road ,Ulsoor or BCR as it is known to many people working for my company was a wonderful location to work out from…..Located at the heart of the city of Bangalore and accessible by everyone,I have spent some moments which were fun filled and which was unique in it’s own way…..

Now you must be wondering how can an office location be a fun filled place right…? For starters….well I had joined as a trainee in my project in the month of June and as such didnt have any team to work with……Being all alone in a new place doesn’t help at all… to add to the woes I didnt know a single person… in the whole location!!!!!!!!!

 For the initial 15days I followed the monotonous office schedule that of reaching around 9-30 am and pushing off at 6-30pm with the normal lunch break and tea break.Nothing more do…. I had resigned to this fate…..of being all alone atleast for some months..

Then I met some wonderful people in some unique circumstances.. …made hell lot of friends thru them and all credit to them…. they made it a memorable stay for me in the Ulsoor office.(More on them later in my future posts!!!!!!!!!!).

More than work in the office,it were the other factors which were really enjoyable……..This office was in the proximity of MG road & Brigade Road  , so whenever we wanted to just freak out ,roam around ……we used to push off …..eating icecreams at a sardarji’s shop, going to the ulsoor market and gorging on parathas( very cheap mind you when you compare it with the prices in bangalore…..),eating samosas & kachoris,eating gulabjamuns and all kinds of sweets…….eating a sick south indian type of burger……going around 1pm for lunch and rarely returning before 3pm!!!!!!!!!

 There was one  thing unique to the Ulsoor market which i didnt find anywhere else…. there was a small store which used to sell lassi…………..one day we decided to try it out and the owner there suggested that we try lassi with grape juice………now that sounds something.. weird……right……..we were a little hesitant initially but then eventually decided to give it a try………..and it really was mindblowing..!!!!! And then till the time we were there in that office… there was’nt a single day we didn’t have it…!!!!!!

After getting back to office at 3pm ,we used to go to the cafeteria around 4pm for a round of TT and  had tea……………which was unique to the cafeteria…. listening to FM while playing TT was another thing……..!!!

 All good things surely come to an end at some point of time and I had to finally move out of the Ulsoor office in August…….. I had spent some  splendid moments of my life there and all I could finally take with me were…..  cherishable memories…. of 21,Brigade Square,Cambridge Road,Ulsoor.. !!!

Pensioner’s Paradise to Everyone’s Nightmare

Bangalore(now BENGALOORU),The Garden City,capital city of the state of karnataka and now the IT hub of INDIA is one heck of a place to be in this world.Located in south India,this city,once upon a time was a retreat for people who struggled thru their lives,who worked in a lot of places all over the country and maybe thruout the world.

These people after going thru a hectic life settled down in this city to spend their life after retirement.It was an ideal setting for them to relax after their streneous life. Cool weather,lush greenery,bare minimum pollution, no traffic hassles…. wow!! a typical setting for a person who wants to spend the last few years of his/her life in tranquil.

Allow me to present this wonderful city thru two different experiences of the same person!!!!

 Cut back to the year nineteen hundred and ninety,a 6 yr old kid goes visiting to his grandparents’ place in Bangalore to spend his summer holidays.At first sight,it was a -WOW what a place feeling. People had a laid back attitude towards life,life seemed to drag itself and they seemed to relish all that..!! Going to cubbon park for a train ride,eating pani puri and all kinds of junk on the roadside , visiting LALBAGH,going to MG Road for shopping ,having tender coconut water for next to nothing….were really enjoyable and ofcourse relaxing. People seemed to have all the time in this world to do such things.All in all people used to go thru their daily life as if they were on a vacation and the boy thot…… this definetly is  bliss!!!!!!

It is the year 2006, A young IT professional with lots of hope and aspirations lands at Bangalore Airport for  a project in his company. The moment he sees the chaos reigning at the airport..he gets the first culture shock…..that is some welcome to the garden city…. he wonders..!!!From there he proceeds to his relatives place which is at a distance of 14kms.. so he thot … OK.. i may be home in about an hour’s time… but he didnt know what was in store for him… the dreaded traffic of Bangalore……..he reaches home in two and half hrs.. on a SUNDAY afternoon!!!

The next day he reports to his office in Electronics City,located off Hosur road(The National Highway-NH9 which leads to chennai)  and he is in for a rude shock……..not an inch of space on the road for vehicles….the roads clogged with all kinds of transport,narrow roads but three times the load…!!!!! this young professional sighs and says.. oh god is this Bangalore??? A national highway looks like a bylane..!!!!!!The infrastructure is literally crumbling !!!!

 The hassles of everyday travelling in Bangalore city has to be experienced to be believed….People spend an unbelievable part of their time in travelling……..To travel 25kms everyday from North Bangalore to Electronics City which is south bangalore… it used to take a painful 2 1/2 hrs……….and he used to mock at it by saying that you can travel from Delhi to Agra in the same amount of time…(around 150 kms…)….only solace was the fact that you had 24*7 FM!!!!! otherwise you will definetly tread on the path to insanity!!!!!

 Not having your own vehicle in Bangalore can be quite a pain……no wonder there is a famous thought in bangalore which goes as follows: ” You can survive without a wife in Bangalore but not without a two wheeler..!!!! “

 Using your own vehicle in Bangalore ..well can be quite confusing…..since almost all the roads are one way…….initially it was a hassle for him..too… but then following a golden rule of bangalore makes it easy……-The road which you r taking now….  you can never come back on it!!!!!!!

 Some of the more funnier aspects of Bangalore…. well flyovers are one way,some of them are even manned by the traffic police…!!(now ..  isnt that killing the whole purpose of a flyover???),the Outer Ring Road(ORR) no longer on the outskirts(Electronics City is 10km from the ORR junction),building a 10km flyover to facilitate faster vehicular movement on Hosur road,auto fellows fleecing you just because you belong to an industry which pays you lot of money…., The signal near Kormangla is Hosur Road check post…( and Electronics City is another 12km from there… sounds illogical  atleast to me….) .

 This truly shows how Bangalore has evolved(rather……..blown out of proportion) from a pensioner’s paradise to a nightmare which is haunting many people now…!!! And it’s not only me who agrees with this..!!!

Out of my comfort zone!!!

The title of this blog post is something which everyone goes thru at some point of time in their life.Some go thru it as a challenge,some as a part of life,some like to neglect it, some want to avoid it & some make it their priority.Some people have it for an extended phase of their life,some want to have it for an extended time and some try to cut it short but end up lengthening it..!!!!

Now what exactly is a comfort zone? Defining it is as easy as being in it.Things which are predictable,which carry minimal risk and give the basic necessity to a man constitute a comfort zone.But people miss out on the most important factor : SATISFACTION  which is zero.!!!!  Creation(and perhaps non-creation) of it depends on an individual.But some tend to create such a comfort zone for themselves that they curb their natural instincts ,their talents and their ability and end up doing things which do  justice neither to themselves nor to their talents.

Y in the first place is it  created? It is human nature to go for things which come easy in life.When there is a continuous flow of things which come easy, we as human beings tend to accept it.Sounds an alarm bell somewhere……doesn’t it??

Getting out of your comfort zone is absolutely necessary as it helps in learning the intricacies of life. It leads you to situations which you would not have thought of in your wildest of dreams and you end up gaining valuable experience.Experience is the only thing in this world which takes the test first and then teaches you the lesson.Doing everything right always is not important but getting out of your comfort zone is..!!!!

Well there are loads of people who’s names i can give who have actually come out of their comfort zone and created an aura about themselves.Steve  Waugh,Subroto Bagchi,Michael Jordan,Michael Dell to name a few.

Getting onto the individual achievements of these people well… i feel they deserve dedicated posts !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life is definetly not enjoyable if it’s easy and getting  out of your comfort zone fuels your own personal growth. Getting out of the comfort zone presents new challenges but then what people dont realise is  that these challenges themselves provide the environment to fight,struggle and ultimately prevail.This for me is the real essence of life.So people out there who are still  cosy in the shade of their comfort zone… get up and go ..look beyond the periphery of your comfort zone and you will see what you couldn’t in all these days.And to all the people who are already out of it in their own way dont worry….. you are on the right path…..!!!!